From Avoidance to Action: Creating a System That Works
Why do I avoid tasks that I know I need to do?
Why do I not put myself out there more when I can truly help people change their lives?
Why do I wait until the last minute on things?
“What’s the system you operate from now?” - my coach, Shazia Govindji, asked me during our session this morning.
I went into the call wondering “why” and it’s how I started answering (but not really answering) the question.
A few minutes in to my ramble, she held up a post it.
It said “Nevermind the Why”.
She had simply asked what system I operate from and I went right to avoiding the question.
In this case? Why doesn’t matter. How I operate in my life, in my business, in the world, comes with a system, whether I think about it or not.
And whether or not I think it’s a good or chaotic system is irrelevant. It’s still a system.
When I actually answered the question, I thought about my personal operating system.
It looks something like:
- there’s something I need to do
- pang of anxiety
- I want to avoid anxiety
- don’t do the thing, *delay* anxiety
- let enough anxiety build until I’m pushed to do the thing.
Wow. EYE OPENING.
Okkkkk but still. Now that I know this, what do I do? If not why, then how? How do I stop the cycle?
Operate from a new system. Create a new system. I couldn’t see it on my own. Or at least wasn’t in a strong agreement with myself.
It makes so much sense why I, along with millions of other people in the world, work so well with accountability.
Every bit of homework, reflection, every agreement I have made with Shazia, I’ve followed through on.
She brought that to my attention.
Every client interaction I make I follow through on.
Every commitment I make with another person I follow through on.
So WHY do I not do this with myself?
I could go into why… and I could also go into action.
For now, I don’t care why. I care that I can create a new system and, as it stands right now, I have another person in front of me who is just as invested in my growth as I am. That’s what a coach can be.
The system we co-created is that I will check in each day with an emoji when I do a certain daily task. Keep it easy. Each Friday will be a summary check in where I’ll report on the week.
Easy. Simple. System. No anxiety needed.
My husband has always asked me why I can’t just be accountable to myself. That question always bothered me. I don’t know, I just couldn’t? I was a pushover? I was lazy? I was an easy boss? ;) I didn’t care that much?
None of those felt like the answer and I share this here in case you need to hear it.
Maybe it doesn’t matter WHY you can’t be accountable to yourself.
Maybe it just matters what you do about it.
For me, if bringing in a coach for accountability and deep work is an option, I know I’m taking it and making progress. No why needed.
Curious, can you relate to any of this? Is there something you’re avoiding? Was this helpful at all?